A Rambling Blog About Blogs
Only read on if you are interested in reading the narcissistic ramblings of a completely crazy 25-year-old.
For the last three years, I have been lost. In a “career”/working sense, in a “who am I?” sense, in a “what are my useful talents” sense and definitely in a “what the hell is the meaning of this world?!” sense, but the last one deserves an individual rambling of its own. I have dipped my toes in numerous random things, but have never truly dedicated myself to any of them. From working retail (which OF COURSE was never a career plan, more something to do while I tried to stop being a lost shit), to cleaning houses (another obvious NO), to cold-calling people about LED light bulbs (haha), to going through 20 hours worth of training to substitute teach three times, to now working at a guy’s house for his furniture repair business where I strip wood tables and weave wicker, I have definitely found some interesting temporary distractions. I have also interviewed for numerous jobs in my degree. After trying all of these on and having three years go by, here I still am, goofing off, and having not found anything that seems to fit.
Until recently when I discovered maybe there is something that could, if I would just DO it: writing.
I almost forgot that all through high school, I said I wanted to be a journalist. In fact, it was the first major I declared in college, before I switched to a school where it was no longer available. I also forget that the major I graduated with (communication) is pretty much a synonym for story-telling. I forget how much I could get into a paper I had to write for one of my college courses, even about something I was not particularly interested in. I forget that numerous people have told me I’ve got a knack for this whole “stringing-words-together” thing. I forget that I ENJOY it. Yet, when it comes to this blog, and writing for it (writing for myself), once again, I only dip my toes. What is holding me back?
Because of all of the above, I recently decided to join Upwork and try to see if I could actually get paid to write. And I actually found someone to give me a chance (so far, so good)! Getting this job and using this blog as part of my portfolio on the Upwork website really got me thinking about how I need to write more blogs, not only to have more content for potential hirees to look at, but also to write for myself and tell my own story. Writing on the hippie homestead blog is something I really want to do, yet I rarely do it. Why?
I never know what to write about. I don’t believe this is a lack-of-content thing though. It is more of an OCD thing. Before I can write a post, I have to have the perfect topic, and write the perfect words. I think most people know that expecting perfection does not really get one anywhere.
As a “wonna-be-writer” in training, I struggle to find my “voice.” I read lots of blogs and blurbs on instagram of people who have their own unique writing style. Some writers are moody; they do a great job of painting an emotion, or a particular meaningful or beautiful scene with words. Some write in a sarcastic or comedic tone. Others get straight to the point. Heck, I’ve even found writers who address people using “ya’ll,” yet is still sounds good because it is their own voice! I feel like every article I write not only sounds like it may have been written by a completely different person, but also sounds like a rant of a person whose brain you could serve up with toast on a Saturday morning.
In fact, that is exactly what I think this sounds like and I have been tempted to delete all of it about 20 times so far in the process of writing it.
And then there is just plain laziness. Human laziness is the ultimate enemy.
But the fact still remains that I enjoy writing, and I have a desire to write. So maybe all this blog post is, is a public proclamation that I must write more frequently and that the style of this blog so far will have to change to do so. Maybe no one from the public actually reads these blog posts and this was simply a way for me to spit my thoughts out so I can attempt to move forward with my life.
All I know is that there is no way the above struggles can be solved without writing more. How can one defeat ridiculous OCD if they perpetually let it hold them back? And how can one find their voice when they never write anything to find it in?
Maybe one day I will write a perfect blog post reviewing all of the amazing vegetables and fruits we grew in our garden. Maybe another day I will go on a rant about how ants could take over the world if they all banded together. Maybe sometime I will just have to spew out the emotions of being a 25-year-old, growing up in our world, in the current state it is in. I just have to write more. I just have to DO it.
To anyone that read this in its entirety, though there may be something wrong with you for doing so, I thank you for reading my scatterbrained rant. And if, by a very, very slim chance there happened to be any writers that laid their eyes on this post, I welcome any advice! :) Hopefully this is the start (or restart) of a new adventure.